


Crack My World

by heartofspells



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 04:03:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/605615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartofspells/pseuds/heartofspells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The heart's the key, you know. That's what everyone says. They're all liars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crack My World

**Author's Note:**

> There are mentions of implied abuse, depending on how you view things.

Break you.   
  
I want to pull you until you break. I want to push you until you shatter. I want to crush you until you collapse.  
  
Down and down you spiral at my hands. _Because_ of my hands; _for_ my hands. I want to hear you beg, hear you plead, hear you _cry_. I want you in a puddle at my feet with nothing left except your slowly beating heart so that I can see _my_ name carved on the outside. _But is it my name? Has it ever been my name?_  
  
I wasn’t like this before you ( _this cruel; this merciless_ ). Before you sank your dark claws into my mind, my heart, my soul and made me your equal. _But are they claws? When do caressing fingers turn into jagged claws? Then again, what’s the difference between that and a quick, sharp, razor-edged tongue?_ You made me into a monster with little more than a few internal scars and harsh words. You made me you.  
  
You’ve shoved and you’ve forced so much that now all I dream of doing is watching you fall. That’s all I want. Down and down and down you’ll go until you hit rock bottom and climb your way back up. Then I’ll laugh as I watch you do it all over again because it truly will be the best form of entertainment, par none. I’ll laugh until I go mad and my mind cracks and every single bit of _anything_ I have seeps out until I’m left with nothing but an empty head and too heavy heart.  
  
The heart’s the key, you know. That’s what everyone says. They’re all liars. The heart’s the crutch of every single human being that walks on this foul, disgraceful planet. It weakens and hinders until there’s nothing left of the human race but misery, suffering, and wickedness. _Is that what happened to you? Did you let your heart out too much; allow it to be stolen and frozen and then crammed back in?_  
  
I sometimes find myself wondering if you were always like this; this cold, cunning, unyielding, and manipulative. I remember the early days; those first glorious weeks when all I did was watch you from the opposite end of that long table in that giant hall. You were something special; something to be savoured and cherished. Even at such a tender age I knew the truth. I saw the way your hands moved like pale spiders, dancing over the cutlery, plates, and goblets. I remember your soft eyes; gentle, like a puppy. They haunt my every moment because all I see when I look at them now is ice. _Cold, hard, empty._  
  
Do you remember the time you got so angry you couldn’t even breathe? I do. You grabbed me ( _bruises on my arms, my chest, my sides, my neck, my legs; impossible to hide; impossible to look away from; fascinating_ ), ripped my clothes off and threw me on the bed. Then you fucked me until I bled and screamed. You listened to me as I pleaded for more even while I begged you to stop. There was hunger in your eyes ( _the only emotion anyone had seen for over a year_ ). You smiled when you finished ( _cruel; wicked_ ) and walked away, leaving me in my pain and my misery and my blood, a horrible, unnamable ache travelling deeper than the dull throbbing coursing through my entire body. _Was that when a fuck just became a fuck and stopped being anything more?_ I want to do the same to you. I want to walk away from your pain and your blood with a mocking smile hanging from my lips while you stare after me, thoroughly unsatisfied and _hurting_.   
  
I want you to understand my anger. I want to see the realisation flash over your face and your skin pale to match the colour of the white moon we used to watch together so often. I want your eyes to dance with fear and your chest to heave from pain. I want to _hurt_ you; cause you pain in every possible way I can imagine. _Why did you make me into this monster? What did you gain? Was that your goal from the beginning?_ I want to hear you scream to the watching, winking stars and cry to the dirty earth beneath your feet. I want _you_ to be dirty, not this pure, golden light I still see every time I look at you, even now. I want you to bleed black and breathe brown and cry red. I want your body to smother and suffocate within itself while I laugh.  
  
One day I _will_ break you ( _shake you and take you and break you down_ ). One day I’ll see that name carved on your heart and it won’t be mine but yours because I know now that you love yourself more than you ever loved me. _But I’ll slice and I’ll dice and I’ll make it_ mine _, all mine._ And _finally_ , we’ll see who the winner of this constant dance is, champion takes nothing and loser takes all.

One day I’ll show you _my_ scratched and sliced heart. _And maybe then you’ll understand._


End file.
